Sounds like you and your mother have a tough decision to make. If you decide to go ahead with the trip, I'd suggest rethinking the type of experience you will have. My friend Liam took his 89-year-old uncle over a few summers ago, and he was very careful not to overextend his uncle or himself.

They limited the amount of moving around they did and made sure they had ground floor rooms. Each day they would leave whenever uncle Buck (yep, that's his real name) was ready...which with breakfast was usually around 10:30. Then they'd head to their one destination for the day (some days it was a tourist spot, others it was shopping, others it was just a scenic drive). They'd find a nice place to grab tea and lunch along the way. Then they'd return home by 4 or 5 pm and made it a tradition to have ****tail hour at 6pm. Some evenings they went to bed early, some they visited a pub, sometimes it was TV and others Liam went for a walk while uncle Buck read.

Liam still says that was one of the best vacations he ever had. Without a big "must see" list, uncle Buck never felt like he was holding things up, and their tea and ****tail rituals made the time they spent together the most important part of the trip. They still came back with loads of pictures and stories to tell about their trip. In fact, their stories and photos were more interesting than most people who return from Ireland because they were talking about the people they met and the details of where they had been (versus "here's us a the Cliffs...us in the Burren...us on Grafton Street...us in a pub").

I think the first question is whether or not you believe you have the wherewithal to go on the trip. There's no shame in saying "I just don't have it in me," and being a martyr doesn't help anyone in this situation. If you feel up for it, then let your mother know and have a heart to heart with her. The trip to Jamaica probably made her as aware that she is slowing down as it did you...that can be a scary feeling.

Not sure my post is any help, but I guess I wanted to let you know that keeping the right attitude can make such a trip easier on you and mom. Good luck.

-- Edited by yesiree at 14:05, 2006-07-22

Caroline,

Sorry to hear that your mother had a fall on your trip. Since you are just back have you thought that perhaps you are both just tired and have jet-lag? Sometimes a vacation takes a bit out of you. Have a look at your insurance coverage to see when you have to cancel. Perhaps you can give it a day or two to make your decision.

I had a look at your itinerary on your other posting and it is not fast-paced. You are staying in most places for multiple nights. If you decide to go, a lot of your sightseeing could be by car. Then you can decide on exactly how much walking you will do as the day unfolds, depending on how your mother feels that day. I like the idea of the folding wheelchair. I have also seen folding canes advertised in catalogues that open into small seats. That might be good if you are walking around without the wheelchair and she just wants to sit for a few minutes.

Excellent advice from Corey. It just shows that you don't have to do it all and can still have a great time. I also took my mother to Ireland when she was in her 70s. She is very fit but we did need to maintain a slower pace than usual. A friend took his elderly aunts to Ireland several years ago (one had a broken leg in a cast!) and they had a slow but wonderful time that they will never forget. I suppose it all depends on what you both want from the trip.

It is a very difficult decision that only you and your mother can make. Let us know if we can help in any other way.

Michele

WoW!!!

Thank you for the advice.  I think we're both just tired from returning from Costa Rica.  We weren't able to do many excursions, and it is a country for active, sports-minded people.  I was somewhat disappointed we werent able to do all we had planned, but I came to realize experiencing a country isn't about doing a zipline trip or white-water rafting.  It's about the people, culture and scenery.  So, we just took it very easy.  Hired a private guide a couple times and that turned out great!   I told her let's just think about Ireland, and come up with our decision by Sunday.  But I think deep down she really does want to go.  She does have a handicap parking sign.  I think it would help to bring that.  I also KNOW that I'd have to set aside some time to myself (i.e., walking, shopping).  We do have some nice places set up to stay (thanks Michele for your suggestions), so that's a big plus too.

Will let you know what we decide.  Thanks again for all your suggestions.

Caroline

I left the decision up to my mom. She wants to go. She said she'd regret NOT going, so we're packing again. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I know it was our decision, but all your advice was taken into account. We discussed it, and decided there's no better time than NOW to go. She said, "We have all eternity to rest, so let's go for it!"
Thanks again.
Caroline